Illusion
by Tsumugi Eternity
Summary: Three person. One disappeared in mystery, one has to become a substitute at the cost of his own identity, and one let herself be drown by the abyss of illusion. (A secret santa gift for Birdofdarkness)


**AN: After brainstorming for some time, finally this idea rested on my brain. Unfortunately, it did not occur to me how this story may ignore your preference as well as the Christmas mood. Very sorry for that. **  
**Even so, I hope this shall become one unforgettable virtual gift to and from fellow writers.**

* * *

The scent of fried fish permeated in a tiny wooden house in the middle of a city. The golden shade of brown emitted a sense of warmness that juxtaposed the freezing globe of snows outside. Next on the same low wooden table lie a small glass of _chawanmushi_ ;equally warm both to the eyes and the heart of the beholder. One could say that those meals were made with love- or so at least Sakuno believed.

Sakuno debated internally of how meager those dishes before her eyes were to be considered a dinner. Perhaps she would have opened her mind more had that day hadn't been her dear husband's birthday. Ryoma did told her last year how he preferred to be frugal in terms of food. Albeit it was an odd request which had never surfaced even once throughout the three years they had been together, Sakuno didn't have the heart to object.

Wiping sweat off her forehead, she smiled meekly at her handiwork. She could imagine Ryoma's imperceptible smile as he devoured his favorite dishes with unusual vigor. Sakuno blushed at the thought; she was going to see Ryoma again after months had passed by. Ryoma was away for some international match overseas, yet he still made some time to return and celebrate with his wife.

Oddly, mirth was all too soon replaced by a sense of longing.

_Something is missing._

Sakuno frantically skimmed through her house, searching for the missing object. The feeling was like a void inside Sakuno's heart- one that she could die with. She knew deep inside that she needed to find something to patch that gaping hole. Something that felt so familiar, yet invisible to the eye.

Sakuno promptly took off her apron and hung it near the door to the kitchen, revealing a white kimono adorned with sakura petals beneath. Despite the coldness that seeped through the wooden defense, Sakuno was not the least bit cold. Not when Ryoma's precious gift shielded her.

_Kimono, check! _Sakuno noted to herself as she resumed her search for the missing item. Christmas tree, mistletoe, decorations, check. Tomoka had done all in her power to ensure that Sakuno would not be celebrating a Christmas unlike last year. Despite Sakuno's protest against what she deemed as squandering money uselessly, her best friend's persuasion was as solid as rock.

Even so, Sakuno had to admit that those colorful lights succeeded not only in illuminating her home but also her mind. It was gloomy and dark whenever her husband was away. When Ryoma slid the fateful ring to her finger, she understood that Ryoma would constantly leave her side. He was a professional tennis player by then, and with his young age almost every single competition demanded his participation. As a local school coach however, Sakuno was not given the luxury of time to travel along.

Sakuno was snapped out from the distracting lights as the doorbell resounded. There had to be nothing missing, Sakuno assured himself. She was confident that everything would be alright as long as her husband was with her.

"Welcome home!" She greeted merrily.

Had Sakuno's eyes not been closed, she would have seen the slight hesitation that came before the usual nonchalant reply.

"I'm home." The man replied with a weak smile.

Sakuno wasted no time in dragging the figure inside to the warm haven. She snapped the door shut and proceeded with taking off her husband's tennis bag and coat without further question. It was not until she led him to the dining table then questions began to slip out her lips.

"You look taller than usual, Ryoma-kun." She commented as she poured themselves some hot tea in the kitchen with her back facing him. Her husband flinched as he took his seat, yet maintained his composure by the time Sakuno was back with the drinks.

"I don't think I-"

"And your hairstyle is a bit off than usual." She interrupted. Sakuno reached out to him and caressed his face, gloom was painted clearly on her features. "What is the matter, Ryoma-kun? Are you not feeling well?"

Her husband's face twisted in subtlest pain, much to Sakuno's oblivion. It was quickly replaced with a reassuring smirk. A hand sneaked up to cover Sakuno's.

"Don't fret yourself over me." He whispered softly. "There's still a long way to go before I will grow tired of tennis."

'_There's still a long way to go'_

And just with one phrase, two hearts were snapped into irreparable pieces.

Stagnant silence lingered around them for some time. The temperature might have dropped several Celsius. It was suffocating, yet none of them reacted to it.

That was, until Sakuno was the first one to raise up. "E-Excuse me...!" She dashed away from her husband as quickly as possible. Even with her pale pair of hands shielding her eyes, bullets of tears persisted in pouring down her face.

_Why am I crying?_

Sakuno flung the door in front of her open and promptly snapped it shut once she was inside. It was their bedroom, but Sakuno didn't notice. She buried her face in her arms, leaning against the door for support.

_Why? Why am I crying?!_

24 December. It was supposed to be the happiest moment of their lives. It's Ryoma's birthday, and also the day when Ryoma accepted her confession. But no matter how hard she tried to remember that occasion for the past three years, none in particular came out. Her mind purposely skirted around a certain memory that had been kept locked for a year.

And now the box had began to crack open.

_No! Ryoma-kun..!_

A heart-piercing wail escaped her lips. Sakuno slumped onto the ground, trying to grab whatever sanity she had left.

* * *

24 December had always been the best day for Ryoga- at least until last year. It was his little brother's birthday, as well as his little brother's marriage. Ryoga was relieved that someone could understand his little brother's aloof facade and was willing to spend the rest of her life as his companion. Ryoga completely approved Ryuuzaki Sakuno to be his sister-in-law.

Now, although Ryoma bested him to committing himself in marriage, that did not mean that Ryoga was a reject. Both brothers had been committed in professional tennis world, and in Ryoga's opinion, it was not the best choice to have a family that would be constantly left behind. At least Ryoga was not ready for that.

Seeing Ryuuzaki Sakuno having to suffer a long-distance relationship was rather distressing. Ryuuzaki was a charming lady with unrivaled patience indeed. She was willing to commit herself to wed Ryoma despite the consequences. Ryoga was certain that Ryuuzaki was not ignorant of that.

The first year of his brother's marriage had been the happiest moment of their lives, not that Ryoga spied on them. Ryoma _smiled_ more in a year and his play improved at a rapid speed. Even a miracle happened in that year when Ryoma defeated the legendary Nanjiroh for the first time. Such was the impact of Ryuuzaki in Ryoma's life.

The converse could be clearly seen precisely a year afterwards. What was Ryoma to Ryuuzaki? Her lover? Her heart? Ryoga got the answer the hard way.

At that fateful night last year, Ryoga was on his way to visit his little brother for christmas celebration. However, he found out that the front door was unlocked much to his suspicion. Sliding the door ever so subtly, he was shocked upon the sight of Ryuuzaki's close friend holding her limp body.

"Don't just stand there! Help her!" Tomoka yelled furiously, her face was contorted with grief.

Ryoga was too flabbergasted to even move a finger, but Tomoka yelled him back to reality. The cute little Ryuuzaki he knew was reduced to a mass of flesh clinging onto her bones.

Ryoga wasted no time standing there like a statue. He dashed to where Tomoka sat and took Ryuuzaki's body in his embrace. Two fingers were put on her neck, looking for a pulse.

"She's still breathing." Ryoga noted after some time. Without a word, Ryoga hauled her up bridal style and carried her to the nearest hospital.

That day was the day Ryoga commenced his illusion.

* * *

_...professional tennis player Echizen Ryoma (23) and his coach Ryuuzaki Sumire (48) were also killed in the plane crash._

How could he not know about this?! How could he be left in the dark about the death of his own brother?! Ryoga pounded his fist against the green hospital wall in frustration repeatedly.

"Sir, please stop. You'll disturb the patients!"

Ryoga did not heed to the warning; continue pounding his fist against the wall until his knuckles was burning red out of agony. The nurse tried all her best to stop him to no avail. She was unable to restrain the man. Thus she only watched, anticipating any further disturbance that Ryoga might cause.

Tomoka was there, watching the whole event taking place solemnly. It was obvious that her mind was somewhere else. Her eyes were blazing red ,dry as the desert and empty like her heart. Her hair was disheveled and all over the place. It was as if Tomoka had joined Sakuno in her comatose state- only with her eyes open.

"The news of Ryoma-sama's death reached me yesterday." Tomoka had confided in between her sobs on their way to hospital. "I was outside the town for a meeting then. Nanjiroh called me and requested that I returned immediately. "

"I was a day too late. Once I get here, Sakuno was barely alive. She was too thin, too skinny. She had been starving herself. But the news was only yesterday. For her to starve herself to this horrible state in one day is...impossible."

Ryoga could not say much himself when he would have remain in the dark for days if not for his chance visit. Why did his father kept silent about this?

Just as he pounded the wall to vent out his frustration, his phone suddenly ring. Ryoga grimaced at the name displayed.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?!"

"Listen to me first. I have something that I need you to do."

* * *

"Ryoga-san...?"

"No."

"But you are Ryoga-san..."

"...It's me, Ryoma."

The night of christmas was the beginning of his deception. He could not deceive the world, but for his sister-in-law, that should not be a problem.

_'Ryuuzaki-chan has been unwell since last month. It was abnormal for Ryoma not to give any form of news for a whole month. Given Ryuuzaki-chan's personality, she definitely did not take it well'_

"But Ryoma-kun is your brother..." Sakuno stated weakly, her face filled with confusion. "You're taller, tanner...And your hair..."

Ryoga swallowed hardly. It took all his might to keep his composure from breaking down into pieces. Not only he had to stomach the mysterious death of his brother, but he had to lie to his wife as well?! Had the latter been requested by someone other than his dad, he would surely came over the caller's house and deliver him a smash to the head that would render him immobile until next christmas.

_'The news about Ryoma's and Ryuuzaki's death was fake. Ryoma was poisoned before his match long time ago. Ryuuzaki, on the other hand, was currently missing. But beforehand, she enlightened me about Ryoma's condition. I tried to keep Ryuuzaki-chan oblivious to it but...'_

"Sakuno." Ryoga hesitantly swiped one hand over her forehead gently. It was not later that he realized Ryoma would not do such a thing- at least to his opinion. He decided to let it slide anyway considering Sakuno was probably unable to process the information quite well.

"I am Echizen Ryoma." Ryoga could hear the tremble in his voice. He quickly averted his eyes to the floor, unable to watch Sakuno's frail face that might burst into tears at any moment. Ryoga could not bear having to lie to her any longer.

_'Listen, Ryoga. You're the only one who can do this. Ryuuzaki-chan is currently unstable, given the loss of two precious member in her life. She will not survive without them.'_

_'This is a request from Ryuuzaki-chan's parents. They want me to look after her in any way I can. However, she will not listen to me, just like how she won't listen to her parents. Only Ryoma's presence can bring her up to her usual spirit.'_

_'And I _beg _you to take Ryoma's place in Ryuuzaki Sakuno's life.'_

"Ryoga...-san...?" Tears flowed freely from Sakuno's eyes.

Ryoga knelt by the bedside. Clasping the girl's hands inside his own, he whispered to her, and to himself.

"_I am Echizen Ryoma._"

* * *

Months passed by like tickings of the clock. At the blink of an eye, Sakuno's starvation was cured with the liquid that was ran through her system. She gradually began to stomach food, and soon regained her previous weight. Soon she was ready to be discharged.

Her emotional condition was repaired at a rather fast speed as well. Questions after questions were thrown at Ryoga in the beginning. She even ever snapped into reality and actually _yelled _at him. His hair, his weight, his clothing. Ryoga would always convince her that he was Ryoma, and Sakuno would always pointed those flaws out.

In the process, she helped him in the brainwashing of herself. Months passed by with Ryoga trying to move on with his life as a professional tennis player while playing as his little brother at night. With every single second ticking, he was constantly reminded of the departure of his little brother, whether it be in a form of cynical questions or suspicious greetings.

On that fateful day in summer, Sakuno recovered completely.

"Welcome home, Ryoma-kun!"

Ryoga just stood at the door flabbergasted. He could not believe what he had just heard.

"I have prepared your favorite dish for dinner." She announced cheerfully.

"I..." Ryoga was about to object to that abnormal treatment from his 'wife', but decided against it. Instead he smirked as he closed the door behind it.

"You don't burn it, do you?"

The flustered expression that overtaken Sakuno's face was priceless. Sakuno had finally returned, much to Ryoga's relief.

It was short-living, unfortunately. There could be only so many days before the commemoration date would arrive. However on that day, none of those thoughts came to mind. They were able to smile and enjoyed the play as if they were actors. Reality was casted aside, and all that was left was blinding fantasy.

Ignorance is a bliss indeed.

* * *

"Sakuno!" Ryoga reached out to Sakuno's running figure. The food was slightly shaken by the sudden movement- Ryoga's nearly finished and Sakuno was not touched the slightest bit. He should have known that this date would not pass by that peacefully.

Indeed he was a fool for casting a simple phrase and broke all illusion.

"Damn!" Ryoga snapped one palm over his eyes, trying to contain the water from falling. It would do no good if he were to break down along with Sakuno.

"Echizen...Ryoma..." He gritted through his teeth. With that name in mind, he slowly raise up from his seat and unveiled his eyes to the world. He took every step with gentle determination. Ryoga would not let his effort all this months to go to waste. Ryoma would not be pleased, neither would Nanjiroh.

Monotonous steps echoed in the silently cold home. It was gradually drown by the faint sobbing behind a door. Just as Ryoga reached for the knob, a screamed penetrated the air like a katana swing.

"Sakuno..." Taking a deep breath, Ryoga took a step forward and pushed the door open. It did not open that wide as a figure curled behind it blocked the movement.

"No!..." Sakuno buried her head deeper in her embrace. Her knees were drawn to her chest, giving her a false sense of comfort.

It was heartbreaking to see Sakuno reduced to a mess she had been a year ago. However, Ryoga was not going to let Sakuno suffer once more. _If I can't protect him, at least I should protect his loved one._

"Sakuno..." One arm sneaked up to her shoulder, trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. Ryoga prepared himself to be smacked away, yet no reaction came out from her. She was still sobbing, oblivious to his presence in fact.

Ryoga was not sure what possessed him at that moment. Instinctively, he pushed away all Sakuno's defense and connected his lips onto hers. _I hope you can see Ryoma in me. _Ryoga prayed as he kept their lips together. Sakuno did not resist, neither did she replied to his action.

Sakuno clutched onto Ryoga's shirt as their kiss continued. It was sweet and gentle, without any tinge of lust. Ryoga was the first to withdraw after realizing that Sakuno would not reply back. He embraced her body in his arms, protecting her from the cruel and harsh reality once again.

_If I can't replace him, then at least let me be the bridge between them._

Sakuno gripped Ryoga's fabric tighter. Her eyes were clouded in a haze of sorrow and denial.

_Ryoma-kun...Ryoga-san..._

_I'm sorry..._

* * *

**AN: Oh my lordsake! There are some things I need to clear up before you accused me of being a terrible writer.**

**I hate romance.**

**I hate Ryoma**

**I know it sounds like pathetic excuse, but those two facts are the truth. In fact, I have never even once read a Ryoma fanfic (unless if it's a team-fic) and also romance (at least no RyoSaku, not even once). This fic awfully goes from RyoSaku to RyogaSaku. God... I hope this still satisfy your preference...**

**I hereby apologize profusely for any OOC-ness, plot holes, horrible narration, terrible sentences unfulfilled preference, and crappy romance in this story.**

**Hope you enjoyed and Merry Christmas!**


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